{"id":4067,"date":"2020-12-21T13:09:19","date_gmt":"2020-12-21T12:09:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tib.ambercouch.co.uk\/?p=4067"},"modified":"2022-02-21T16:18:40","modified_gmt":"2022-02-21T16:18:40","slug":"twelve-ways-to-cope-this-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/twelve-ways-to-cope-this-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"Twelve ways to cope this Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id='av_section_1'  class='avia-section av-1ar6tr2-10d8786672bbc9732f284e555d91def7 main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-0  el_before_av_section  avia-builder-el-first  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap sidebar_right'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><main  role=\"main\" itemprop=\"mainContentOfPage\"  class='template-page content  av-content-small alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-4067'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-kiyh8sue-dc4d0b1fdb68fb193d1cd6a57ff2dde8\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-kiyh8sue-dc4d0b1fdb68fb193d1cd6a57ff2dde8{\npadding-bottom:0;\ncolor:#2c5c88;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-kiyh8sue-dc4d0b1fdb68fb193d1cd6a57ff2dde8 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-kiyh8sue-dc4d0b1fdb68fb193d1cd6a57ff2dde8 .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#2c5c88;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-kiyh8sue-dc4d0b1fdb68fb193d1cd6a57ff2dde8 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-kiyh8sue-dc4d0b1fdb68fb193d1cd6a57ff2dde8 av-special-heading-h1 custom-color-heading blockquote modern-quote modern-centered  avia-builder-el-1  el_before_av_hr  avia-builder-el-first '><h1 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Being kind to yourself and asking for what you need<\/h1><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-17xj27i-2774a471c85c43b2313be373c43eb28e\">\n#top .hr.av-17xj27i-2774a471c85c43b2313be373c43eb28e{\nmargin-top:30px;\nmargin-bottom:40px;\n}\n.hr.av-17xj27i-2774a471c85c43b2313be373c43eb28e .hr-inner{\nwidth:70px;\nborder-color:#2c5c88;\nmax-width:45%;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-17xj27i-2774a471c85c43b2313be373c43eb28e hr-custom  avia-builder-el-2  el_after_av_heading  el_before_av_image  hr-center hr-icon-yes'><span class='hr-inner inner-border-av-border-fat'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><span class='av-seperator-icon' aria-hidden='true' data-av_icon='\ue8bf' data-av_iconfont='entypo-fontello'><\/span><span class='hr-inner inner-border-av-border-fat'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-16omjri-63415da3e1a297f8874348f34ee016fb\">\n.avia-image-container.av-16omjri-63415da3e1a297f8874348f34ee016fb img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-16omjri-63415da3e1a297f8874348f34ee016fb .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-16omjri-63415da3e1a297f8874348f34ee016fb av-styling-no-styling avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-3  el_after_av_hr  avia-builder-el-last '   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-4883 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-4883 avia_image ' src=\"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Twelve-ways-to-cope-at-Christmas-1030x687-1.jpeg\" alt='' title='Twelve-ways-to-cope-at-Christmas-1030x687'  height=\"687\" width=\"1030\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Twelve-ways-to-cope-at-Christmas-1030x687-1.jpeg 1030w, https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Twelve-ways-to-cope-at-Christmas-1030x687-1-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Twelve-ways-to-cope-at-Christmas-1030x687-1-768x512.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Twelve-ways-to-cope-at-Christmas-1030x687-1-705x470.jpeg 705w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1030px) 100vw, 1030px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/main><!-- close content main element --><\/div><\/div><div id='av_section_2'  class='avia-section av-13zylzi-ce3a735a18ae7d78b4c670242a44a089 main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-4  el_after_av_section  avia-builder-el-last  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap sidebar_right'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-small alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-4067'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-13at9e6-8b67653571ca69416a1673807322491e\">\n.flex_column.av-13at9e6-8b67653571ca69416a1673807322491e{\n-webkit-border-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n-moz-border-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\nborder-radius:0px 0px 0px 0px;\npadding:0px 0px 0px 0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div class='flex_column av-13at9e6-8b67653571ca69416a1673807322491e av_one_full  avia-builder-el-5  el_before_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-first  first flex_column_div av-zero-column-padding '     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-234k8z-da86896ee312fc5ed6ab4280d102b0a9\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-234k8z-da86896ee312fc5ed6ab4280d102b0a9{\npadding-bottom:10px;\ncolor:#2c5c88;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-234k8z-da86896ee312fc5ed6ab4280d102b0a9 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-234k8z-da86896ee312fc5ed6ab4280d102b0a9 .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#2c5c88;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-234k8z-da86896ee312fc5ed6ab4280d102b0a9 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-234k8z-da86896ee312fc5ed6ab4280d102b0a9 av-special-heading-h3 custom-color-heading  avia-builder-el-6  el_before_av_hr  avia-builder-el-first '><h3 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >If you could do with some support and advice this year during the festive season, then follow our 12 suggestions on how to cope this Christmas.<\/h3><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n<div  class='hr av-73uh1a-4c4eec3812c4d04422a9bfa4a1841e56 hr-default  avia-builder-el-7  el_after_av_heading  el_before_av_textblock '><span class='hr-inner '><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-xn5ihq-19e63b7f00cd95ef728c0ade2c9e176e'  itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Christmas can be a wonderful time of the year \u2013 with sparkle and magic, heart-warming get-togethers and days filled with laughter and joy \u2013 but it\u2019s not like this for everyone.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2020 has been a year like no other and December continues to be a challenging time for many. Christmas can also be a period when family expectations add pressure, financial burden creates anxiety and relationship problems are heightened.\u00a0And the festive season can be particularly hard if you\u2019re experiencing difficult times like bereavement, infertility, depression, separation, or divorce.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, here are some suggestions to help you take control, reduce stress levels, and treat yourself to a little more peace and kindness during the holiday season:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><b>(1)\u00a0 Have realistic expectations <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019ll be spending a lot of time with extended family, be realistic about what you can expect. Unless something has specifically changed, don\u2019t set yourself up for disappointment and expect your family dynamics to be different. Prepare yourself for what\u2019s likely to happen. And while you can\u2019t change others,<strong> you can focus on the things you can control,<\/strong> such as yourself, and work out some <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/how-to-start-taking-control-of-your-stress\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">coping strategies<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (see below).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(2)\u00a0 Plan ahead and set a budget <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To help reduce pressure and anxiety, make a list of everything that needs to be done in the run-up to and on the day itself. Plan how much you\u2019re going to spend, and what needs to be done when. And ask family members to help with tasks where possible. As for gifts, bear in mind that <strong>people and children will remember the quality times they have with you<\/strong> far more than the presents they receive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(3)\u00a0 Make new family traditions <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There may be several family festive traditions you take part in, perhaps making your own cards, Christmas cakes, attending certain gatherings etc. People often feel compelled to continue these rituals long after the enjoyment has gone. But it is possible to <strong>break from tradition, or even create your own<\/strong>, and reduce the pressure on yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(4)\u00a0 Learn to say \u2018No\u2019 <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s very easy to overcommit at Christmas. There\u2019s a multitude of party invites (which might be replaced with festive <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/zoomsetting\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Zoom calls<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> this year!) that flood in during the holiday period, but it\u2019s fine to politely decline these if it feels too much. <strong>Think about what your priorities are<\/strong> and should be, and try keeping your mental wellbeing at the heart of these. After all, it\u2019s much easier to say \u2018no\u2019 if you know what you\u2019re going to say \u2018yes\u2019 to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(5)\u00a0 Allow yourself to feel sad<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Christmas can be very hard if a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/issues\/bereavement-counselling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">loved one has died<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, whether the loss is recent or several years ago. You may feel you need to hide your sadness and put on a brave face. Instead, <strong>give yourself permission to lean into your grief<\/strong> and talk about how you are feeling. It can help others around you too, by letting them know you are comfortable talking about the person you\u2019ve lost.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(6)\u00a0 Take some time out <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Give yourself some quiet time and a chance to breathe. Escape the hustle and bustle for a few moments to focus on relaxation techniques, such as practising <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/services\/mindfulness\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">mindfulness<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. If you\u2019re grieving, as well as feeling sadness, try to also <strong>take time out to remember and smile at the good times you\u2019ve shared with the person you miss<\/strong> &#8211; the memories of Christmas past can help to sustain you in the present.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(7)\u00a0 Do something different <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the thought of facing your regular Christmas arrangements fills you with dread, think about alternative plans. 2020 is a year like no other, so it might be a good excuse to do some things differently, especially if you feel family members may be resistant to change. If you\u2019re going through a difficult time, the key thing is to <strong>focus on what you need and not always on what others want.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(8)\u00a0 Find ways to be with others <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019ll be celebrating Christmas on your own, or perhaps without your children, <strong>look into other ways you can connect with people<\/strong>. Not only can you do this virtually, but there are also plenty of volunteering opportunities you can do to meet others and lend a helping hand or provide some company. And if you won\u2019t be seeing your family over Christmas, remember this isn\u2019t the only time magical moments can be created.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(9)\u00a0 Think \u201cGood is enough\u201d <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We often feel a lot of pressure to make sure everything is perfect at Christmas &#8211; the food, the gifts, the decorations, the state of the house and so on. And aiming for perfection can place a lot of pressure on our <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/services\/couples-counselling\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">marriages and relationships<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> at this time of year. Instead, decide that \u2018<strong>good is enough\u2019 and focus more on simply enjoying the process than in trying to achieve perfection<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(10)\u00a0 Don\u2019t let others push your buttons <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember that if someone says something hurtful or critical, it says more about them than you. Their words may provide an insight into what they might be feeling and what might be the cause. Jealously, loneliness, a sense of being overlooked &#8211; these can all drive negative comments. <strong>Moderating your response and acknowledging why the person might be feeling frustrated can go a long way in helping you diffuse the tension<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(11)\u00a0 Get outside <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The shorter daylight hours and lack of sunshine can negatively impact our mood. And over Christmas it\u2019s easy to spend whole days indoors. <strong>Exercise and daylight can help combat the effects of <\/strong><\/span><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/depression-and-christmas-time\/\">depression<\/a><\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>, distracting you from your thoughts and stimulating \u2018feel good\u2019 endorphins<\/strong>. After being cooped up, getting outside can also help reset things at home, reduce tensions and allow children to expel some energy!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>(12)\u00a0 Know where to turn to for support <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The old saying \u201ca problem shared is a problem halved\u201d is true; talking things through can definitely help to reduce your anxiety. But if you don\u2019t feel you can open up to those around you, a counsellor might be able to help. <strong>They can put things you may be overthinking into perspective and teach you coping strategies to help you through the holiday season<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While for some of us Christmas can be something of an endurance test, the season can also provide a sense of hope and new beginnings. This has certainly been a difficult year, but it\u2019s shown us all the importance of supporting and reaching out to others &#8211; not to mention being kind to yourself and asking for help when you need it. With the new year around the corner, it\u2019s good to reflect on these things and look towards a more positive 2021.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All of our Talk in the Bay counsellors and therapists are qualified to help you. So, if you would like to find out more, please get in touch<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/talkinthebay.co.uk\/contact\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> here<\/span><\/a> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">or speak to us on <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">0292 010 3173<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you need professional help getting through Christmas, you can also speak to your GP or call Samaritans free from any phone on 116 123<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><br \/>\n<div  class='hr av-73uh1a-4c4eec3812c4d04422a9bfa4a1841e56 hr-default  avia-builder-el-9  el_after_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-last '><span class='hr-inner '><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><\/p><\/div><section  class='av_textblock_section av-h341cu-0ff96b79a244482b676f8425c26aabe8'  itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><h4><strong><span style=\"color: #2c5c88;\">Author: <\/span><span style=\"color: #2c5c88;\">| <\/span><\/strong><strong><span style=\"color: #2c5c88;\">Talk In The Bay <\/span><span style=\"color: #2c5c88;\">| <\/span><\/strong><strong><span style=\"color: #2c5c88;\">Since 2008<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/div><\/section>\n<div  class='av-social-sharing-box av-kas8m7wc-c7c82e8ff9f7dcee15de2b56b2be96b3 av-social-sharing-box-minimal  avia-builder-el-11  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_hr  av-social-sharing-box-fullwidth'><div class=\"av-share-box\"><h5 class='av-share-link-description av-no-toc '>Share<\/h5><ul class=\"av-share-box-list noLightbox\"><li class='av-share-link av-social-link-facebook' ><a target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Share on Facebook\" 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